Last Year: A Reflection of 2020

This last year has been hard. COVID, quarantine, pet scares, anxiety issues, trying to find the joy in the day, missing my family, going back to work, turning 30, the holidays and now I HAVE COVID. Le sigh. Don’t get me wrong, there has been a lot of good in this past year as well and I’m going to talk about that as well. This year just really threw me, tested me, and pushed me to my limits. 

Last Year

After returning early from our cancelled Amsterdam trip when everything was shutting down, we came home to our cat under the floorboards of our friend’s apartment who was watching him because he got spooked. It took 4 days, but he came home and all is well, it was just very traumatic for him and for us. We had to quarantine of course coming home from another country, so we spent a good amount of time trying to think of things to do. I don’t think we’d spent that much time together without a plan and all of a sudden having 2 weeks off together. My 9-5 was closed at the time so I didn’t have work either. And then I did. 

Work

They decided to utilize us as call center workers. For those of you that know me more personally, or have been following my journey on here you know I have anxiety. That anxiety is exacerbated greatly by call center work. Leaving call center work for my current role was done purposely. That work affected me in a bad way, so I was scared, nervous and not sure what to do. I tried. I tried to the point of exhaustion and anxiety attack after anxiety attack. Ultimately I decided to apply for short term disability, because it was breaking me…again. COVID has created circumstances out of our control, I just wish there was something else I could be doing instead. 

With my disability time I started therapy, and found a good medication for me and my struggles (after safely going through some different ones with my care team). I started meditating again because I’d fallen off for a while and I even started journaling. Journaling is something I’d started and stopped multiple times over and I finally found my rhythm in it.

To get better, I took walks with my boyfriend, hikes, and even took a couple of local getaways to clear my head and get out of the house. I needed to find the joy, and try to reset so that I could get myself back to working order. It took a while, and I fought hard to push past some of the blocks that I had. I’m still not in a good mental place for phone calls, but I returned back to work with my coworkers and for that I’m thankful. Then I turned 30.

Getting Old

I’ve been dreading turning 30 because like most young girls I had plans for my life. None of which have come to fruition. I’m in the process of course. I have a loving boyfriend, a new blog, a travel business, and a full time job. Hopefully one day all of this will aid in purchasing a new home, but I had hoped to do all of this, and the future steps of my life, years ago. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever get what I want out of life.

Turning 30 was a big wake up call for me. Only I can make these things happen for me. I need to stop waiting for things to fall into place and make them happen. My birthday is around the Thanksgiving holiday and so it tends to lump in with them. Some years it’s actually on Thanksgiving which can be fun. The holidays also come with questions of when are you getting married, when are you having kids, and I just don’t know. That scares me being 30. I’m working on it. 

COVID

This year’s holidays were a journey. We made the decision to venture home to our families. Before I get COVID shamed, I took precautions. Masks, social distancing, hand sanitizer, and showers upon arrival. A few days into returning home to Colorado, I started to get this headache. A little sniffle accompanied by a slight cough. I was supposed to go to work when I woke up that morning and I think, “I’m not feeling great”. I’m just going to call out and go get tested just to be on the safe side. I work with a pregnant woman, and I would rather not take my chances at passing it on.

24 hours later and my test comes back positive. I’m so glad I didn’t go into work that day. It’s now 2021, and most were waiting for 2020 to end. I was one of those people but 2021 doesn’t mean no Coronavirus, no issues, no phone calls, or no anxiety. It does mean a new year, new opportunity and new chances to start over in some capacities. Which leads me to the positives of this year, even though sometimes it’s hard to remember. 

Wins

I got to go to Amsterdam! Even though our trip got cut short, our river cruise was cancelled, and Lucca got himself stuck under the floor, we still ended up having a great time. At leas before the country shut down and we had to fly home. It’s definitely going to stay on the list for a return trip! I also started this blog this year. It has taught me many things both technical and personal. I learned how to use wordpress a bit better, and I learned to not take myself so seriously sometimes. I learned not to push myself too hard. You can only do what you can do, and that needs to be enough.

As difficult it has been, it has also been so rewarding. This time last year I never would have thought that I could have created this website, mostly on my own. I’m so proud of what I have accomplished by doing this and I don’t regret it for a second. I’ve also gotten to visit with my nephew and spend time with my family. I learned a lot about myself this past year and I think we all have. Here’s to taking what we’ve learned, and leveling up in our lives, businesses, and the opportunities that present themselves to us. Happy New Year, go get it 2021!

So here’s to a new year with new opportunity! Time to buckle down, save your money, take chances, start that business and when it feels safe for you, go on that trip. If you are ready to commit to spending this year unapologetically, sign up for a call with me! Let’s plan out the best future trip or honeymoon you can imagine! Schedule a call with me HERE.